Showing posts with label Michele Bachmann. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Michele Bachmann. Show all posts

Monday, August 15, 2011

The Pinch of Politics and Finance


Now they’ve done it! Now we know the legacy Republicans are leaving their children—and, indifferently, ours: the triple-A downgrading of America. So, while everyone (but other Republicans) is pointing a finger at them, I’d like to point a fist. Fie on them!

Up with the rest of us. You can’t keep a good country down, and while we don’t look, or feel, so good right now, we remain the best there is. It’s not the U.S. that’s on its way to being debased, it’s the Republicans who are already there.

I don’t know about you, but if John Boehner calls, I’m not in. An elected public servant entrusted with one of the highest offices in the land snubbing the President of the United States, ignoring the president’s calls during a crisis! Who does he think he is? A man who couldn’t keep his eyes dry during a roll call shedding nary a tear over endless weeks of events that plausibly had half of the Capitol wearing Depends! I think I know who he is, a shit in sheepish clothing—but who does he think he is?!

And wetting the pants she apparently wears in her family, glee-stricken Michele Bachmann gushed this about Uncle Sam’s shiner: “We just heard from Standard and Poors. When they dropped our credit rating. What they said is we don’t have an ability to repay our debt. That’s what the final word was from them. I was proved right in my position—we should not have raised the debt ceiling and instead we should cut government spending, which was not done, and then we needed to get our spending priorities in order.” Other than “and” and “the,” there is not a correct word in the Bachmanspeak logorrhea.

I have been asked, in “Comments” on my previous blog piece, “The Capitol Hill Compromise”: “Does this blog represent the ‘civility’ that the president asked for?” My straight-from-the-heart answer is that this blog represents the "civility" the President asked for and has never received—certainly not from the opposition, reference to whom, by any name, was omitted by the commenter. Do I have to point out again that the Speaker of the United States House of Representatives not returning his president’s phone calls was at one and the same time an egregious and a tiresomely typical example of one party’s incivility?

Civility reigns as far as I’m concerned—in my private life as well as on this blog—in all things except when it comes to the hostile politics of The Grand Obstreperous Party. My commenter continues and so will I—but civility dictates I let the commenter go first: “We are ALL Americans, my dear Ray, and if we don't all work together to seek peaceful solutions to our common goals we will be driven to civil unrest by the lunatic fringes of both parties. ( See Greece, London)” (Here, my civility obliges me to acknowledge having respectfully corrected the commenter’s misspellings. But…) I heartily agree with the observation. Well, almost heartily—I’m not sure about the streets being occupied solely by “the lunatic fringes of both parties.” Public protests and demonstrations are contagious. The Brits got the inspiration from the Arab Spring, and—“lunatic fringes” or just plain angry folks—our frightened and frustrated working class and jobless citizens, catching the fever from once-merry England, will do their damndest as well as their best to make themselves heard.

Inevitably, looting will follow, and as appalling as that prospect is, is it any worse than the looting that goes on within the walls of Wall Street? The wild market swings of the past six to eight business days were not haphazard events, nor will the predictable ones to follow be. A lot of wealthy people are getting a lot wealthier by the day, buying on the up and selling on the down, driving prices in the direction they want them to go for sport and capital gains. I don’t hear them griping about a downgrade or see signs of them stuffing money under their mattresses. The call of the wild is “To market, to market!” where they’re having a field day, every day. Mindful of a rainy day, they, along with prudent or panicked moneyed interests—and China!—are putting the “mattress money” into, of all things, S&P AA+rated U.S. Treasuries.

An investment adviser described it as “a very emotional market right now.” Brings tears to your eyes, doesn’t it?

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Whose Unwarranted Success Irritates You The Most?

And the winner is… the envelope please…

Heidi… MONTAG!



The results of The Pickle Award poll are official. Drastic plastic or not, Heidi more than made the cut. According to exit polls (voters hastily leaving the page?), women in particular relished giving Heidi 33% of the vote. Green with pickle envy?

Michele Bachmann and Dr. Phil ended in a tie for second. A voter, Alex, commented, “This is like Sophie's Choice... who is more worthless, Michelle Bachmann or Heidi Montag?” He didn’t deign to mention Dr. Phil. Dr. Phil has ratings problems; “Other,” an option without a degree, did almost as well.

What becomes a Pickle most? For Heidi, the fickle pickle of fatuity, it’s sheer gall—divided into three parts: ambition, vanity and vacuity. You probably aren’t aware that the music on The Pickle Award video is from Heidi’s new CD. And what is the last thing you’d think she’d call her CD? “Superficial.” That’s the title. Which happens to be the title song as well. Superficial? A portion of the lyric appears below.

You may have participated in the first Pickle Award poll—or you may not have. To its credit, the web host, Blogspot, sees to it that the poll is tamperproof. But, dismayingly, Blogspot’s poll is not glitch-proof. In the poll’s first days, many votes were inadvertently unrecorded. Subsequent investigation disclosed that insidious browsers—lowbrowsers, decidedly—were the villains. To be sure, the discrepancies were neither as critical, nor as nefarious, as the disputed Florida vote count in 2000 and the ensuing Supreme Court Bush v. Gore perfidy that elevated my initial model candidate for the Pickle Award, George W. Bush, to conspicuous presumption. (Acknowledgeably, it may be tantamount to beating a dead horse, but based on his qualifications to hold the highest office in the land, which add up to a “zera” worthy of “dubya,” can you forthrightly think of a jim-dandier Pickle candidate by definition? An “Other” voter, JRDegan, commented, “speaking of unmerited reward… I move that we nickname the Pickle Award the Dubya.” If you’re inclined to disagree, you should reread the Pickle Award description—slowly.) This isn’t a case of sour pickles vis-à-vis the Supreme Court, but since I am the supreme court on this site, I appropriately recused myself from any participation that might influence the outcome. (Clarence and Antonin take note.) I solemnly swear the glitches have been summarily eliminated. We will conduct the second Pickle Award poll in two weeks.

Which brings me to you. A note at the bottom of the entry “Introducing… The Pickle Award," stated: In all future polls, you the reader will pose the questions and the candidates. We will conduct another poll the first week of every month. When we get around to it, we will award a small prize to the person posing the best question for the poll; don’t hold your breath. (All right, it will be retroactive.) The mastermind of the month’s selected Pickle question and candidates will always get credit for his or her ideas, if desired. Submit as many as you like. I want to hear them! Please forward yours to sonofthecucumberking@gmail.com, stating Pickle Award on the subject line.

I can’t fathom what pleasure Heidi is getting from life—from surgery to mockery—but I derived mine from reading, and rereading, the “Comments” citing “Other” deserving Pickle candidates and the astute and amusing arguments for the worthiness of their worthlessness. Among my favorites:
Becca: Nadya Suleman
Kate and Jon Gosselin OR
The cast of The Jersey Shore
(and isn't it sad that I know who these people are?

Jacopo: Submitted for the Academy's consideration: Glenn Beck.

Sugar Magnolia: It depends on which day you ask me. Yesterday, it was Paris Hilton. Today it is Sarah Palin. Tomorrow? Ah… so little time. So many worthless targets...

Anonymous: Dick Cheney...Talk about a pickle...how I would like to see something positive come out of his mouth....anything!!! ( and unfortunately his daughter has been trained to follow his lead)...they both look so unhappy.

Rik Misiura PT: I vote the 536 representatives of the government.
W. finally found popularity with liberals, and Obama was derided for being one.

Conclusively getting down to the bottom line—my favorite antagonist, Elsie: Personally I suggest a 24 hour hi-colonic so the poop comes from the correct end.

Let’s let the winner have the last word(s):

They say I’m superficial
Some call me a bitch
They just mad cause
I’m sexy, famous and I’m rich

And I don't care
That I keep pissin' people off
Ima let 'em talk
I don't give a damn what they say
It isn't fair
That I wear diamonds for breakfast
And I know this isn't helping

It ain’t that easy, it ain’t that easy
It ain’t that easy, but it ain’t so hard
Heidi Montag takes the Pickle!

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

INTRODUCING...






How often do you look at somebody of note and think: “Lucky! If I were him or her, every morning before my feet even touched the ground I’d roll out of bed onto my knees and thank God for the almighty good fortune bestowed upon me.”

We invite you to use the poll to the left to vote for the person whose success most exceeds your estimate of its merit.

Note: In all future polls, you the reader will pose the questions and the candidates, e.g.: Who has succeeded most beyond his or her limitations? What person or project triumphs because no one has anything against it?