Tuesday, June 15, 2010

A Liberal Theory of Relativity

The Yankees are winning games, so I don’t care if the Celtics are. While oil keeps spilling into the Gulf, I can be patient with our super’s inability to staunch the water trickling through my toilet bowl. As long as people of all faiths respect what the Jewish people continue to contribute to the arts and sciences (and belt an occasional show tune), they can judge us all they want. Everything’s relative.

“In the country of the blind, the one-eyed man is king,” goes the proverb. Maybe my new eyeglasses have something to do with it. Maybe it’s that my grandson has started losing his teeth and I’m not losing mine! I have perspective.

I know to eschew the Yankees v. Phillies and Celtics v. Lakers long enough to hear my president address the country about the oil spill. Setting myself apart from 51% of the country, I know I can listen, respectfully and objectively, to what he has to say.

I’m prepared for him to begin by stating “our nation faces a multitude of challenges,” and to enumerate, “At home… to recover and rebuild from a recession…” and “Abroad… taking the fight to al Qaeda wherever it exists.” I do a perspective check for “wherever it exists.” I have it in my rear-view mirror.

We get to the big challenge: “Because there has never been a leak of this size at this depth, stopping it has tested the limits of human technology.” And the limitations of human beings!, I want to add, but there’s no time—the president is “multituding” the challenges: “…just after the rig sank, I assembled a team of our nation's best scientists and engineers to tackle this challenge.” I’m ready and waiting with perspective on this one. Much as I wouldn’t wish any ill spill on President Obama, far better it happened on his watch than his predecessor’s, so that W’s VP couldn’t assemble “a team of our nation's best scientists and engineers” from
BP “to tackle this challenge.”

It didn’t take long for President Obama to provide the undeniable perspective, vividly. With one word: epidemic. “The millions of gallons of oil that have spilled into the Gulf of Mexico are more like an epidemic, one that we will be fighting for months and even years.”

I listen and learn that “30,000 personnel… are working across four states.” Jobs, I think. “Thousands of ships and other vessels are responding.” Heartening, I think, but am relieved that a flotilla from Turkey is not among them.

It’s nigh onto the fourth inning at Yankee Stadium, I’m guessing, when the president says, “…if something isn't working, we want to hear about it,” and I know he isn’t thinking of my toilet.


  1. Much as I wouldn’t wish any ill spill on President Obama, far better it happened on his watch than his predecessor’s, so that W’s VP couldn’t assemble “a team of our nation's best scientists and engineers” from BP “to tackle this challenge.”


  2. meaningful and witty... as usual.


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  4. Great post, as usual, Ray.

    Your Posts always provide clarity with brevity, and, sometimes even, bathroom humor.

    BTW, the greatest World Series ever was 1960 when the Yankees broke all the records and the
    "Bucs" won the series.

    Sorry,Ray,I just couldn't help myself.

  5. Liberal Indeed Monsieur Renard! YOUR President took the better part of two months to get off his bony ass, feign anger and say he was going to "kick ass!". Meanwhile,the spill envelops the Gulf Coast from Corpus to Panama City and will soon reach they Keys and work it's way up the East Coast. Action? Deny a Dutch Company from sending Help! Action? Deny a company in New England from send booms that could have staved off the spread. Action? Denied dozens of contractors with oil recovery techniques the opportunity to work their magic! Action? Did not send in Coast Guard and Naval vessels currently idle that could have helped spread additional booms to stop the spread of the oil! Action? Did not sned in the Army Corps of Engineers or the Navy SeaBees who are experts at emergency construction of all kinds to get an emergency well built tout suit! Monsieur Le Renard, are you so blinded by the charisma of this administration to so completely ignore its lack of substance? Messuers Bush y Cheney are long gone. Por l'amour de dieu Monsieur Le Renard sil vous plait retornez a realite!

    On a much lighter note, please make corrections to the comment about the record Yankee season. It was 1969 when Maris hit 61, Le Mick hit 58, and all three catchers each had more than 20 home runs. The Yankees beat the Giants in the series when Bobby Richardson was almost knock into Right field by a line drive off the bat of Willie McCovey. Catch Made. Yankees win series.

    Miss Elsie Curtsys on her way out waving an admonishing finger at those who would mistake Yankee lore and American History. Shame, shame, shame.

  6. This is how G W would have handled the Oil Spill.
    GW: " Oil Spill? This is just an over-reaction by "Liberal Politicians" trying to get some money from BP for this accident".
    "BP has invested a lot of money trying to fix this small problem. I am offering all the assistance by providing emergency relief to BP of $40 Billion to help them recover their losses from this accident.
    The American people stand with me to make sure that BP doesn't lose any time or money with Liberal bickering. Let them go about their business of fixing the small hole.
    Tony (Hayward, chief executive of BP)and I will
    be watching and overseeing that this small accident is handled in due time. In the meantime, I want to insure all American investors that no dividends will be lost and the value of their stock will remain in tack.
    Americans may have to help as well.
    Gas prices may have to raise for a while and us Americans can endure a few months paying more at the pump to help BP get back on its feet.
    I will not tolerate Liberal gouging of BP with frivolous lawsuits.
    Our Government will not be part of the cleanup effort. BP has the means and knowledge with their extensive R&D to handle fixing this tiny leak without inconveniencing the people living in the Gulf region. The Walruses(slight interruption as Cheney whispers to G W: "there are no walruses in the gulf").
    Oh, I mean no wildlife will be harmed and business will be as usual.
    Thank you and G'd bless the U.S of America and G'd save the Queen as we pray for BP to get back on its feet".

  7. Mon Dieu ! Je ne peux pas croire l'erreur que j'ai faite !! The year was 1961 NOT 1969. 1969 was the year of Le Miracle de Les Mets!

    As for what Mons. Bush would have done, Elsie has just four words: GET OVER IT ALREADY! There is a new commander on the bridge who said "I was on it from day one" in much the foolish way Mons. Bush said "Mission Accomplished". 61 days after Day One the bumbling academic current resident of the White House has done nothing but turn down sincere offers of help, exacerbating rather than mitigating a horrible disaster.
    Mlle Elsie admire la fidélité à moins que ce soit fidélité à un imbécile. On this disater and the border problems in Arizona, Mons. Obama has been more court jester than Presidential. Perhaps Mons Le Renard can have a worst Prsident vote for Le Pickle award. Carter, Obama, Wilson, Roosevelt. Mlle Elsie picks all of the above. Adieu Mes amies.

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  9. Barry said...
    Didn't anyone see Pres. Obama put on his red cape, blue wet suit, and white goggles, carrying a huge plug to seal the leak?

    No! I was mistaken; it was BP's own, Tony Hayward.

    Kevin Costner is now coming to save the day.

    Mr. Costner better hurry, there are 2 hurricanes headed for the Gulf.

    has been politically changed to:

  10. Mlle Elsie thinks that those who are obsessed with George W. Bush need to have their haldol increased. Mons. Bush is not President. Monsieur Obama is the one who studied Cloward & Piven, two professors at Columbia University. Per their plan. Mr. Obama has irresponsibly trebled the debt, put in unsustainable entitlements, all in the hope of watching the government collapse into a socialist marxist state. Perhaps those of you who have deified Mr. Obama ought give Cloward and Piven a read. Every where tried Socialism and Marxism has failed, yet this arrogant pseudo-intellectual in the WH believes he can pull it off here? And you Lemmings are willing to follow him off the cliff as he destroys the greatest experiment of government ever known to mankind? Monsieur Le Renard wants his America forward. Bravo. But if Cloward and Piven is your version of forward Monsieur then sil vous plait, stop the world I want to get off. Adieu. ( is it ok to say go with god here?)